Walking with Someone Who Has Anxiety: A Biblical and Trauma-Informed Guide for Meaningful Support

For many Christian women, anxiety isn’t loud. It’s quiet, private, and incredibly misunderstood. Some describe it as a bulge beneath their ribs. Others feel it as tension in their chest they’ve learned to hide behind a smile. And sadly, many have been told that anxiety reflects a lack of faith—as if emotional pain is the same as spiritual failure.

Scripture never teaches that emotional struggle disqualifies someone from God’s presence. Clinical experience never supports shame as a path to healing.

As a Christian therapist who has sat with countless women wrestling with anxiety—and as someone who has lived through my own seasons of panic—I want to offer a different, more compassionate lens through a process that honors how God designed the body, affirms the complexity of the mind, and welcomes the Holy Spirit into the healing process.

My desire is that this will help you understand how to support someone struggling with anxiety in a way that is biblically grounded, psychologically wise, and genuinely helpful.

Why Anxiety Shows Up More Than People Realize

Many Christian women feel anxious long before they ever have the language for it. They assume the tightness in their body is their “normal,” or they’ve learned to spiritualize their suffering—believing their discomfort is a test, a sign, or something they should simply “push through.”

But anxiety frequently develops from:

• long-term stress

• unresolved trauma

• emotional responsibility carried too young

• perfectionism rooted in survival, not pride

• people-pleasing tied to safety

• chronic over-functioning

• nervous system sensitivity

None of these are moral failings.

Most of them are wounds.

All of them are human.

Even faithful women who read Scripture, pray regularly, and love the Lord deeply can experience anxiety. Women who work in ministry deal with these feelings too. The presence of fear does not equal the absence of faith.

What Does “Do Not Be Anxious” Really Mean In The Bible?

Many Christians hear this verse as a command to stop feeling anxious. But the Bible wasn't offering a reprimand—Gods word  offers relief.

Paul’s words in Philippians are written in the language of invitation, not shame.

A closer reading shows this truth:

• You will feel anxious.

• You are not required to carry it by yourself.

• God wants your whole internal world, not just your polished parts.
  

“Do not be anxious” is better understood as:

“When anxiety rises, you don’t have to face it alone. Bring it to your God who cares for you.”

This reframing softens the weight many women have carried for years.

Affects of Anxiety On The Body

Anxiety is not simply “worrying too much.”

It is the nervous system sensing uncertainty and trying to anticipate danger before it arrives.

Anxiety can look like:

• racing thoughts

• difficulty breathing deeply

• catastrophic thinking

• muscle tension

• irritability

• trouble concentrating

• nighttime restlessness
  

These are biological responses. They are your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you, not punish you. When your heart races, when your thoughts spiral, when your chest tightens—your body is not misbehaving. It’s communicating. It’s saying, “Something feels unsafe,” even if the threat isn’t obvious.

Your body is not sinning—it’s signaling. It’s doing exactly what God designed human biology to do when it perceives threat or overwhelm. These reactions happen faster than conscious thought, so they cannot be overridden by sheer willpower or spiritual effort. You’re not weak for experiencing them.

This is why telling someone to “just trust God more” often makes anxiety worse. The intention might be rooted in trying to be nice, but the impact is damaging. The mind hears a spiritual instruction the body cannot physically comply with in the moment. It creates shame instead of safety, pressure instead of peace. Anxiety doesn’t respond to commands—it responds to compassion, grounding, and nervous-system regulation.

Healing requires addressing both the body and the spirit. You cannot soothe biological fear with spiritual language alone, and you cannot heal spiritual wounds by ignoring the body that carries them. True wholeness honors both: the biology God crafted and the faith that sustains you. When the two work together, healing becomes not only possible—it actually happens.

How To Support Someone Who Feels Overwhelmed with Anxiety

When a woman you care about tells you she’s anxious, your first job is not to fix her. It’s to help her feel safe enough to breathe again—safe enough to exist without rushing, without defending, without having to hold everything together. Your presence becomes the soft place where her nervous system can begin to settle.

Here are simple, grounding ways to begin:

1. Slow the pace of the moment
When anxiety spikes, the world feels loud, fast, and tight. Everything inside her is suddenly on high alert.
So you slow things down.
Speak more slowly.
Soften your tone.
Let your body language say, “There’s no rush. You’re okay here.”
Even subtle shifts like lowering your shoulders, relaxing your face, or sitting down with her can signal to her system that the danger has passed.

2. Help her return to the present.
Anxiety pulls her into imagined futures and old fears. Your role is to help her come back to this moment—this room, this breath, this ground beneath her.
Invite her to take slow, steady breaths.
Ask her to plant her feet firmly on the floor.
Have her notice three things around her that feel stable or comforting.
These tiny, physical actions begin to quiet the survival responses in her body and remind her that she’s not alone in what she’s feeling.

3. Validate the experience without spiritualizing it.
She doesn’t need a sermon. She needs to feel understood.

Try phrases like:

• “It makes sense your body is reacting this way.”

• “You’re not doing something wrong—you’re overwhelmed.”

• “God isn’t disappointed in you. He’s with you in this.”

Validation is not weakness; it’s what makes movement toward regulation possible. When she feels seen instead of judged, her whole system loosens. She can breathe again. She can think again. She can trust that she’s not too much—and that someone is willing to sit with her until the storm eases.

Exploring the Roots of Anxiety—Gently and Without Force

Once a sense of safety is established, many women feel ready to explore why anxiety has been so present in their lives.

This might include questions like:

• Where did you learn you had to stay calm for everyone else?

• What emotions were you not safely given permission to express growing up?

• Do you remember the first time you felt responsible for the emotional temperature of others?

The goal isn’t to relive trauma.

It’s to understand patterns with compassion instead of judgment.

And clarity always leads to choice.

Using Scripture in a Way That Comforts, Not Corrects

The Bible is powerful—but only when offered with gentleness, not pressure.

When supporting someone with anxiety, Scripture is most healing when:

• it is offered as a resource, not a requirement

• it invites rather than instructs

• it comforts instead of criticizes
  

Try asking:

“Is there a verse that has felt grounding for you lately?”

or

“Would you like to look at scriptures together, or would sitting together in the quiet presence of Christ better right now?”

This keeps Scripture relational rather than performative.

How Can I Discern between Conviction, Emotion, and Spiritual Attack When Experiencing Anxiety?

For many Christian women, everything gets put in the “spiritual category.” That creates confusion and intensifies anxiety.

Here’s a simple distinction:

Conviction

• specific

• gentle

• hopeful
  leads toward freedom

Emotional response

• Fluctuates

• human

• shaped by stress, trauma, or circumstances

Spiritual attack

• condemning

• chaotic

• tied to fear and distortion

Learning to name these differences brings clarity, and clarity brings peace.

Faith Based Coping Skills for Anxiety

One of the practices I most often encourage is breath prayer. It’s simple, but it’s powerful because it brings your body, your mind, and your faith into the same moment. As you slowly breathe in, whisper, “You are with me.” Let those words remind you that God’s presence is not something you earn—it’s something you already carry. And as you exhale, say, “I release what I’m holding.” This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel calm; it’s about giving your nervous system permission to soften and letting God meet you in the places where you’re gripping too tightly.

Another deeply grounding practice is to imagine sitting with Jesus in a safe, quiet place. Picture the scene in detail—the texture of the seat beneath you, the colors around you, the expression on His face as He looks at you with gentleness instead of judgment. Let His presence be the steady point your senses can lean on when anxiety pulls you into scattered, fearful thoughts. This kind of visualization helps your body exit survival mode because your mind begins to register safety rather than threat.

Journaling can also become a sacred, two-way conversation rather than a place to perform or analyze. Start by writing a question to God—something honest, something you don’t have polished answers for. Then pause. Breathe. And write the words you sense reflect His character: compassion, clarity, patience, steadiness, truth spoken in love. You are not trying to “channel” something false—you are practicing staying connected to who you know God to be. Often, this simple act helps untangle fear and bring gentle insight you couldn’t access in your head alone.

And when it comes to Scripture, consider shifting from memorization to reflection. Instead of trying to master a verse, let the verse become a place you visit. Return to it throughout the day—when you’re washing dishes, when you’re driving to pick up your kids, when your chest tightens for no clear reason. Let the words sit with you. Let them speak softly. Let them comfort you instead of becoming another task on your spiritual to-do list. A single verse held close can do far more for your nervous system than a chapter you rush through.

These practices are not meant to fix you or measure your faith—they are invitations into gentleness, connection, and grounding. They help create room in your mind and body for peace to land, one small moment at a time.

Where Is God When I Have Anxiety?

When anxiety rises and your emotions feel impossibly loud, it can seem as though God has stepped into the background. He hasn't moved. Not even a little.
Your sensitivity doesn’t unsettle Him.
Your racing thoughts don’t push you outside His care.
He holds you with the same steadiness in chaos as He does in calm.

Sometimes His presence shows up quietly—small, tender reminders that you’re not abandoned:

• a moment of unexpected calm

• the friend who checks in right when you need it

• the sudden ability to pause when you feel yourself spiraling

• the gentle softness that follows a long cry

These small moments may seem ordinary, but together they become evidence—whispers of His nearness. And over time, these glimpses of comfort are what help anxiety loosen its grip and lose the authority it once held over you.

A Final Word of Hope

If you or someone you’re supporting is struggling with anxiety, know this:

-You are not spiritually defective.
-You are not “behind.”
-You are not disappointing God.
-You are a human being whom God deeply loves—mind, body, and soul—exactly as you are in this moment.

Anxiety isn’t a sign of weak faith. It’s a sign that something tender inside you needs care, safety, and support. Healing rarely happens in isolation. It happens in partnership–with God’s steady presence, with your body’s wisdom and ability to heal, and often with the guidance of a counselor who understands both faith and psychology and can help you navigate the emotional terrain you’re facing.

You do not have to keep carrying this by yourself. There is real help available, and there is no shame in reaching for it.

If you’re feeling the pull to take a next step—whether for yourself or someone you love—I’d love to walk alongside you.

You can schedule a free 20-minute consultation to talk through what you’re experiencing and explore what support could look like. Sometimes a short conversation is the beginning of significant relief.

You can also find more encouragement and practical guidance in the additional articles available—each one designed to help you understand your anxiety, trauma, and how Christian Counseling can help you reconnect with God’s compassion, and feel less alone in the process.

You deserve care. You deserve support. And you deserve to move toward healing with someone who truly sees you.

Other Services

In addition to the anxiety counseling resources I share here, I offer several specialized therapeutic services designed to support women on their healing journeys. My online practice provides a safe, compassionate space where you can explore your story, process past experiences, and move toward emotional wholeness—no matter where you’re located in Ohio, Michigan, Maryland, or Florida.

• Trauma Therapy
I provide trauma-informed therapy that helps you understand the impact of past experiences while developing the tools you need to feel grounded, empowered, and safe in your life today.

• Christian Counseling
For those who desire it, I offer faith-integrated counseling for a variety of struggles that weaves together psychological insight and Christian principles, supporting both emotional and spiritual healing.

• EMDR Therapy
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful, evidence-based approach for processing traumatic memories and reducing distress. I offer EMDR therapy online, making it accessible and convenient for women who prefer or need remote support.

If you're interested in learning more or feel ready to take the next step, I’d be honored to walk with you on your healing journey.