God Didn’t Design You to Carry This
Identifying and Releasing Buried Emotional Pain
Have you ever felt like you're carrying a weight no one else can see?
Many women do. You push through, smile when expected, and keep showing up for others—even while your soul quietly aches in the shadows of life.
Sometimes, it shows up as irritability you can't explain. Sometimes, the exhaustion lingers even after you’ve rested. Or it’s that tightness in your chest, the anxiety that whispers, “You’re not enough.”
These aren’t random glitches in your nervous system. They’re signals—clues that your heart has been carrying more than it was ever meant to hold.
The good news? God didn’t design you to carry emotional pain alone. Not now. Not ever.
The Signs You’re Carrying More Than You Think
Emotional pain doesn’t always announce itself clearly. It often hides in the form of:
Constant anxiety or a sense of dread
Difficulty relaxing, even when things are “fine”
Physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or body tension
Feeling stuck in shame, guilt, or self-criticism
Avoiding certain memories, people, or places
Numbing behaviors—overworking, doom scrolling, isolating, people-pleasing
You may have learned early on to “keep it together” or to minimize your experiences. Maybe you were told your emotions were too much. Or maybe no one even noticed your pain at all.
But just because others didn’t see it doesn’t mean God didn’t.
Psalm 56:8 says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
Your pain matters to Christ. He sees what you’ve carried. And He wants to meet you there—not with shame, but with compassion.
Why We Bury Emotional Pain
As a child, or even later in life as an adult, you may not have had the safety, support, or language to process what happened. You adapted to survive.
You likely tucked away the betrayal. You may have normalized the neglect, heartbreak, abuse, abandonment, or ongoing invalidation–never stopping to acknowledge the wounds left behind
Eventually, this buried pain begins to distort how you see yourself, God, and the world.
“I’m not safe.”
“I’m too much.”
“I’m not worth protecting.”
“God must be disappointed in me.”
These messages may not be conscious, but they guide your behavior in powerful ways. That’s why true healing requires more than just positive thinking or spiritual bypassing. It requires going to the root, gently and intentionally—with God's help.
God’s Heart for Your Healing
God is not asking you to push past your pain. He’s inviting you to bring it into the light.
Throughout Scripture, see how God interacts with the brokenhearted—not with impatience, but with tender care.
Psalm 34:18 states: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Jesus Himself was described as “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). He knows the weight of human suffering, and He offers hope—not in the form of a quick fix, but through deep, personal restoration.
That’s why therapy—especially trauma-informed and faith-integrated therapy—isn’t a sign of weak faith. It’s a courageous step toward healing.
Identifying What’s Buried
So how do you start uncovering what’s been hidden for so long?
Here are a few ways to begin recognizing buried emotional pain:
Pay attention to your triggers.
What situations, words, or tones of voice make you feel panicked, shut down, or overly defensive? Triggers often point to unhealed wounds.Notice your patterns.
Do you overextend yourself to be accepted? Avoid conflict at all costs? Assume others will leave or reject you? These patterns often originate from old pain.Listen to your body.
Your body carries your history. Tension, tightness, or chronic fatigue may be holding messages from past hurt. Don’t overlook them.Reflect on your internal dialogue.
When things go wrong, what do you say to yourself? If it’s harsh, hopeless, or rooted in shame, there’s likely pain driving those thoughts.Ask God to show you.
In prayer, invite the Holy Spirit to gently reveal areas of unresolved hurt. His guidance is never condemning—it’s clarifying and freeing.
Releasing Pain with God’s Help
Identifying buried pain is brave—but what comes next?
Releasing emotional pain involves processing it in a safe, supported way. This can look like:
Talking with a trusted Christian therapist who is trained in trauma work
Using tools like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which helps the brain release and reprocess distressing memories
Naming your experience out loud—sometimes for the first time
Allowing yourself to grieve what was lost, even if it feels minor
Inviting God into those memories through guided prayer or inner child healing work
Remember: healing doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it didn’t matter. It means acknowledging the weight of what happened and letting it go into God’s hands.
You were never meant to carry trauma, shame, or emotional pain indefinitely. That’s not what God had in mind for your life.
What EMDR Therapy Can Offer You
If you’ve been stuck in pain that talk therapy alone hasn’t touched, EMDR may be the next step.
EMDR is a trauma-informed, brain-based therapy that helps people reprocess difficult memories so they lose their emotional charge. It doesn’t erase your story—it just removes the intensity of the emotional charge associated with the memory. And when EMDR is integrated with a Christian worldview, it becomes a powerful tool for both emotional and spiritual renewal.
Many of my clients have said things like:
“I didn’t realize how much I was still holding until we started EMDR.”
“I feel like I can finally breathe again.”
“God felt so present in that exercise. It was like He was walking me through each layer of pain.”
God doesn’t waste anything—not even our most broken places. And EMDR is one way He brings beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
You Don’t Have to Keep Carrying This
I want you to hear this clearly:
Your pain is valid. Your healing matters. And you were not created to carry these wounds forever.
God is not afraid of your past. He’s not disappointed by you or your struggles. He longs to meet you right where you are and lead you into something new—something lighter, freer, and peaceful.
John 10:10 says, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Abundant life doesn’t mean perfection. It means freedom. Joy. Peace. Healing. It means waking up with a free mind, ready to do God’s will rather than being tied down to the past.
Take the Next Step Toward Healing
If this has resonated with you—if it stirred something in your heart or helped you name what you’ve been carrying—I want to invite you to take the next step.
You don’t have to untangle this alone.
I specialize in working with women who are navigating anxiety, trauma, ministry burnout, and the emotional weight of life’s unresolved pain. Through online Christian counseling and EMDR, I help women reconnect with God, reclaim their stories, and walk in healing.
You can learn more about the support I offer throughout Ohio, Michigan, Maryland, and Florida here: Christian Therapy, Counseling for Anxiety, Trauma Therapy, EMDR Therapy, and even EMDR Intensives.
You were never meant to carry this alone. Healing is possible—and you and your peace are worth it. Reach out for your free consultation.
