Christian Counseling for the Woman Who Can’t Let Anyone Down

But is Secretly Falling Apart

You’re the strong one.
The reliable one.
The problem-solver, the encourager, the listener, the doer.

You’re the one who prays for everyone else, checks in on people when they're hurting, sends the meal, leads the small group, and holds the family together.

But lately? You feel like you're unraveling quietly while holding everyone else's pieces together.

Maybe you haven’t said it out loud yet—but you feel it in your body. The racing heart at night. The tightness in your chest when one more person texts you, asking for “just a small favor.” The exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. The tears you hold back because “there’s just no time for that right now.”

Let me just say this, heart to heart: I see you. But more importantly- God sees you.

Being strong doesn’t mean being invincible. Even the most grounded, faith-filled, capable women have limits. Jesus took time to rest, to cry, to be alone with the Father. And you are not less spiritual or less faithful for feeling overwhelmed. You’re just human.

When Anxiety Creeps In… Even When You're “Doing All the Right Things”

One of the hardest parts of being the one everyone leans on is that people don’t always think to ask how you’re doing. And over time, anxiety can build—quietly, slowly, but steadily—until one day you realize your body is always bracing for something MORE to happen.

You love God. You might read your Bible. You pray. And still, that inner pressure won’t ease up. That’s not because you’re failing spiritually. It’s because you’re carrying more than one soul was ever meant to carry alone.

God didn’t design you to hold everyone’s burdens on your shoulders.
That’s His job.

Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
But how do you actually do that when your nervous system feels fried, and your thoughts are spinning?

The Body Based Experience of Anxiety

Anxiety doesn’t just live in your head—it shows up in your body. It’s a whole-body alarm system that thinks you’re in danger, even when you’re not.

That’s why sometimes Bible verses and prayer feel like they should help—but your body is still on high alert.

We need both God’s truth and God’s design for your body to work together. That means learning how to calm the physical stress response—so you can actually receive peace instead of just trying to force yourself to feel it.

Here are four tangible, nervous-system-regulating tools that can help when your anxiety feels overwhelming:

1. Ice Water Face Dip – Shocking Your System Into Calm

I know, it sounds weird. But submerging your face in a bowl of ice water for 15–30 seconds (or placing a cold pack on your face) triggers something called the dive reflex. It tells your brain, “We’re safe. We can stop panicking now.”

This isn’t just a mental trick—it’s a God-given design built into your nervous system.

Try it when:

• You feel panic rising and can’t think straight
  

• You’re spiraling in your thoughts
  

• You’re about to have a hard conversation and need to ground yourself
  

It won’t fix everything, but it will help your body shift from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest. And that matters.

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique – Bringing You Back to Now

Anxiety pulls you into the what ifs of the future. This tool brings you back to the present moment.

Here’s how it works:

• Name 5 things you can see

• Name 4 things you can touch

• Name 3 things you can hear

• Name 2 things you can smell

• Name 1 thing you can taste
  

This simple sensory check-in helps rewire your brain to focus on what’s real—right now—not what might happen next.

When you do this while breathing slowly and intentionally, you’re gently telling your body: We’re okay. We’re safe. We’re here.

3. Hold Something Heavy or Weighted – Reconnecting to Your Body

When your anxiety feels like you’re floating or ungrounded, try holding something heavy or applying intentional pressure. You could cover up with a weighted blanket, balance  a thick book on your lap,or lay a sealed bag of rice between your shoulder blades, laying facedown. You can also press your feet firmly into the floor or sit against a wall to feel supported.

This helps your nervous system settle by giving your body something solid and steady to focus on.

Spiritually, it’s a good time to pause and pray: Lord, I feel so out of control. Help me feel Your steady presence again.

God’s peace isn’t a feeling you have to chase—it’s something you can receive, little by little, as your system calms.

4. Vocalizing Scripture or Breath Prayers Out Loud – Reclaiming Truth with Your Voice

When anxiety makes your thoughts race, speak truth out loud. There’s power in using your voice—it engages more of your brain and body than silent thoughts alone.

Here are some breath prayers to try:

• Inhale: “When I am afraid…”
  Exhale: “…I will trust in You.” (Psalm 56:3)
  

• Inhale: “The Lord is near…”
  Exhale: “…to the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 34:18)
  

• Inhale: “You are my refuge…”
  Exhale: “…and my strength.” (Psalm 46:1)
  

Let your breath be slow and intentional. Let your voice be gentle. You’re not rushing healing—you’re soaking in God’s truth for you.

It’s Okay for the Helper to Need Help Too

You might be the one who helps everyone else regulate their emotions, but you don’t have to carry your own dysregulation in silence.

Let me be direct: you deserve support too.

Sometimes God answers our prayers for peace through people—a trusted friend, a good Christian Counselor, a safe space to say, “I’m not okay.”

If you're tired of pretending, tired of smiling through the ache, tired of being strong when your soul is crumbling, you’re allowed to let someone hold space for you. That doesn’t make you needy. That makes you human. That makes you wise.

Jesus Wasn’t Afraid of Weakness

We often forget this, but Jesus was fully God and fully human. He needed time alone. He got tired. He wept. He felt overwhelmed.

And yet, He never rushed His emotions. He brought them to the Father.

And so can you.

You don’t have to stuff your fear, your worry, or your pain. You can bring it all—messy, loud, tear-soaked, mascara covered, even snot dripping—into God’s presence. He doesn’t flinch. He draws near.

You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

Being the one everyone counts on is beyond exhausting when you don’t have space to fall apart too. You may feel like if you stop holding it all together, everything will crumble.

But maybe—just maybe—God is inviting you to let go. Not of your purpose. Not of your faith. But of the pressure to carry it all by yourself.

Because you were never meant to.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
That includes yours.

If You're Ready for Help, I'm Here

If this blog speaks to something you've been quietly carrying, and you're ready to find healing that reaches beyond surface-level solutions, I’d be honored to walk with you.

Through online Christian Counseling, I help women just like you—strong, spiritual, overwhelmed—get to the root of their anxiety and begin to truly heal. Together, we’ll create space for God’s peace to reach the parts of your story that have felt stuck or unseen.

Learn more here: Christian Counseling | Anxiety Support | Trauma Therapy | EMDR Therapy | EMDR Intensives

You’re not too much. You’re not too late. And you’re not alone.

Reach out for your free consultation. Let’s breathe again—together.